Okay children, let’s see how well we know our letters in the alphabet

GOOD morning class! Today, I will be testing you on the alphabet. How well do you know your ABCs?

Can someone tell me what PSLE stands for? Very good. Everybody knows. Because it’s important.  Because it will decide whether you get into a good school. But never mind about this since every school is a good school. Now, there will be no more T-scores.  Do you know your numbers? It’s the points that result from your PSLE exam. Now, no more points! Just whether you fit into certain bands, like what your ko ko has to go through for GCE O level and A level exams. Now you can tell your parents they don’t need to send you for so many tuition classes. Oh. They still will ah. Because your ko ko still has tuition even though… Never mind then…

Next, do you know what is DSA? Good. You know! Your parents talk about it all the time because they are trying to see what sport you should be good at. Hmm. Tell your parents to slow down because the Direct School Admission scheme will be reviewed. We don’t know how yet but no point gaming the system if you don’t know the rules? What is gaming? Oh…it’s like playing a sport. A game. We all play games right?

Since we are talking about games, do you know what is OBS?

OBS! OBS! Not obese! It’s a kind of school where you do a lot of activities like climbing and rowing and going through obstacle courses. No. No. It won’t be in an air-conditioned hall…

Anyway, once you get to Secondary 3, you will have to attend a five-day course on Coney Island where this fantastic new Outward Bound School (OBS) will be built! What? You don’t think your parents will let you go in case you fall down and hurt yourself?

Okay, let’s move to letters that are important to members of your family. Maybe you also know about the DPA? Don’t know? But maybe your ko ko knows because he is trying to get into a polytechnic…Tell him he has a better chance now because there will be more places for those with special talents. From 2.5 per cent to 12.5 per cent of the intake! Tell him to learn juggling, then he will be in the newspapers and on TV! But tell him it’s no longer DPA but EAE, which stands for Early Admissions Exercise. What did you say? Wah. I am terribly impressed. Yes, a rose by any other name will still smell as sweet! You get an A*!!!!

Speak up! Your ko ko is in ITE? Never mind, it’s not the end. In fact, he can try to get into EAE (I), that’s reserved for ITE students to get early admission into poly. Or he can get into ELP in ITE. That’s the Earn and Learn Programme.

No no. Not confusing. I will slow down.

Just tell him that more employers including those in accountancy, hotel, and healthcare want to offer part-time jobs to students in ITE. Hmm. He wants to go to university? Can. Can. Later. Later. I will tell you about SkillsFuture, when you are older.

Now listen carefully.

We all love our parents, right? They work very hard to make sure we go to school. So teacher will tell you about other letters which are also known as acronyms that affect them.  It’s all about making them happier at work, if they are working.

So remember this set of letters and learn them by heart, because they might be part of your PSLE exam questions.

PMET : Professionals, Managers, Executives, and Technicians. All you need to know is that if your father or mother is one of those people above, and if they are always at home instead of at work, it means they have been retrenched. So please comfort them and say that everything will be okay because there is….

CSP: Career Support Programme. Even if they are younger than 40 years old, they can find an employer who will pay them because the Government is helping employers to pay them. Tell them more than 90 people got jobs this way. But, hmmm, they have to be jobless for at least six months. They don’t mind? Better than taking leave to prepare you for PSLE? Tell them no need. Tell them they also can study further under PCP.

PCP: Professional Conversion Programme. Go sit down with daddy and ask him if he wants to change jobs. No, not job, change line. That means he no longer wants to work in an office, for example, but do something different, like take care of pre-schoolers or do marketing. He will get training besides a salary. Then who knows? After he changes his line of work, he can still study further under SkillsFuture and even become a teacher! Like me! What? You don’t want him to be a teacher in case he stresses out at home about homework even more?

Okay children. I am ending class for today. Please remember what I have said. I will be testing you tomorrow to see if you understood the lesson today. Remember there will be no more points! Just bands so that you don’t know how your classmates score. Every student is a good student.

 

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- Bertha Henson