SinGweesh on Wednesday: Your Head

by Gwee Li Sui

WHY angmo nang say “my foot” and Singaporean nang say “your head”? Do you know? I think a lot about such pian jiak issues. When angmo nang want to dismiss something as stupiak, insulting, or kena sai, they name this thing and then add “my foot!” So, when an angmo kid wants an encyclopaedia and asks his father, the father will shout: “Encyclopaedia, my foot! You can walk to school like all your friends!” (Haha, sorry, old angmo joke.)

But, if this father were a Singaporean, he’d have said, “Encyclopaedia, your head!” Why neh? It’s a good question to ask, and there may be a cheem, philosophical basis. The less chong-hei response is to say that “your head” literally comes from a Chinese exclamation. But this doesn’t explain why it should make cow sense, let alone become popular, in multicultural Singapore leh. Besides, “my foot” has the greater historical advantage. It was once used by British colonisers on our poor Ah Kongs and Ah Mas in the way Japanese colonisers used “bakero” on them!

So “your head” may look like an anti-colonial inversion, but I think that its real appeal is somewhere else lah. After all, the two versions are complete opposites: one names the lowest part of a human body while the other names the highest part. The England form also uses a first-person pronoun while the Singlish form uses a second-person pronoun. It seems that, for the angmo, the foot is his or her centre of judgement, the place under which something is brought to be deemed auta or worthless. But the Singaporean blames the other’s intellect point-blank, showing the other to be goondu for wanting or asserting something.

This difference is quite steady one ha. Angmo culture may regard as bodoh something that cannot be seen because the angmo’s own feet are a blind spot. He or she normally doesn’t see them – we also cannot because all our tummies are in the way – but others may choose to notice them. So to subject something to the feet is to consign it to where the speaker ownself can’t care about. But another’s head, your head, is the first thing the Singaporean sees even though his or her own cannot be seen without a mirror. To attach something to your head is to make you aware about what you cannot see, cannot know. It makes you feel weak and exposed. So Ah Kong is right hor: Asian values and angmo values are not the same one!

Now-a-day, “your head” can just be used as it is, often with an “ah” – as in “Your head ah!” This form was popularised in the 1990s by that lovable gila character Phua Chu Kang, from the wildly successful Singlish TV sitcom Phua Chu Kang Pte Ltd. “Your head” is deemed sufficient precisely because all that matters is a direct attack on the other’s sense of self. So, when someone is too kay kiang or how lian, you can knock him or her down a bit by challenging his or her words with “Your head ah!” – enough already. The other will suddenly be made self-conscious and gabra, kalang kabut, and you can feel a little shiok. Bagus, right? You understand now? Sure? Your head ah!

 

Featured Image by Sean Chong.

If you like this article, Like The Middle Ground‘s Facebook Page as well!

For breaking news, you can talk to us via email.

The post SinGweesh on Wednesday: Your Head appeared first on The Middle Ground.

- The Middle Ground