If Sporean neighbourhoods existed in Westeros

After yet another painful year of waiting, season six of HBO’s phenomenal series Game of Thrones is finally upon us. The great houses of Westeros will once again jostle for the Iron Throne, complete with plenty of epic storytelling.

…Singapore has neither stunning landscapes , nor brutal swordfights (though we did have a Samurai on the MRT that one time), but we do have some pretty fine neighbourhoods with tales worth telling.

They just need to be told. And what better way than with sigils ( a fancy name for ‘coat of arms’) and a backstory worthy of any great house?

From the reclaimed marshes of the west, to the flowing rivers of the east, here are some for your reading pleasure.

Bukit Batok

Backstory: Until recently, Bukit Batok was once seen as a weak and obscure house, in part due to its less-than-impressive fort, Castle West, and a slowly declining population. All that changed when a massive colony of rats seized a MRT station in order to take control of the neighbourhood. The rats initially expected little resistance from the normally mild Batokians, but were in for a rude shock. In the days that followed, a huge army of pest exterminators was raised and laid waste to the rodent fortification. Thousands of rats were put to the sword while fleeing for their lives.

Bukit Batok came into the spotlight for its swift and decisive action, and its rivals quietly nodded, understanding the meaning of its words.

Holland V

Backstory: Blessed with wealthy neighbours, a prime location and an eclectic mix of merchants, residents of Holland Village are known across the republic as master pub connoisseurs. Much of the shire’s income is generated through its numerous famed watering holes, which frees up plenty of manhours for merrymaking. As such, the windmill on their banners is purely symbolic as an apparatus that creates income without human labour. For indeed, they do not toil.

Jurong

Backstory: Built on former crocodile-infested swampland, Jurong was transformed into a industrial-residential district sometime during the mid-20th century. Its first residents were commoners evicted from their homes elsewhere within the republic. Scores arrived with almost nothing to the far west, but they dug in deep, and slogged hard in the factories for a better life. Today, Jurong is set to become one of Singapore’s prime districts – showing that a being fiercely committed to work, no matter how unglamorous, does pay off.

Kallang

Backstory: Kallang’s sigil is a common tilapia leaping over the eponymous river amidst a crimson sky. The nondescript Tilapia may not be the prettiest of fish, but it was chosen by the modest people of Kallang for good reason.

First, the tilapia is an adaptable species, surviving in both and salt and freshwater. It also is extremely hardy – even when the Kallang River reeked from the excrement of ducks and pigs in the republic’s early days, Tilapia thrived in hordes. But perhaps most importantly, tilapia are tireless parents, dedicating huge amounts of time into raising their young.

Like the fish on their flag, the resilient people of Kallang have what it takes to go against the tide, making riches at the heart of the river that gave the republic its first taste at fortune.

Kranji

Oft neglected Kranji might have been taken over by nature, but the district used to be home to some of the republic’s greatest warriors before the second great war. Many of them gave their lives to defend the republic and are still buried on the massive grave located onsite. These brave soldiers used the native wild boar as their sigil. Learning skills from the great beast itself, Kranji’s warriors possessed foraging skills to live off the land par none. While they might be gone, their spirits live on in these fearless, furious beasts.

Punggol

Backstory: A new house set amidst green fields and flowing rivers, the bulk of Punggol’s residents are made up of bright-eyed, young professionals forging out a legacy of their own. Their sigil consists of a modern Singaporean icon – the felled Instagram tree – immortalised on lush open fields, as an undying symbol of hope and growth. Others may joke that Punggol is so far-flung that it’s almost a Malaysian fishing village. Some say it’s just a place to take pictures of remote patches of grass for social media. But perhaps you have to be a Punggol resident to truly grasp that the future isn’t arriving – it’s already here.

Woodlands

Backstory: Traditionally the gateway to the republic’s northern colonial hinterland of Malaya, Woodlanders play an important role in ensuring Singapore’s security at the nigh-impenetrable Woodlands Checkpoint.. Men and women who serve at this checkpoint are expected to take no wives, own no properties and produce no children during their shifts, which can last up to 12 hours.

Guinness

Backstory:  The red tongued dog of Guinness runs rampant on a field of roasted barley . Coat as black as night, crimson tongue hanging from its mighty jaws, the Ang Ji Gao is the chosen symbol of the republic’s brave and the bold, and has been in Singapore for over a century. Members of this house are known to be made of more, willing to take risks and never watering-down their ambitions. They only go for full flavoured beer – that is Guinness Stout.

Good stuff must share

Guinness has launched a brand new, limited edition version of the iconic Ang Ji Gao, pieced together by all the unsung icons of Singapore such as the Red Plastic Chair and Bamboo Pole.

Nothing beats sitting on the couch and watching your favourite tv show while cracking open a cold Guinness. Make sure to hold your bottle tight lest an epic scene causes you lose grip on the bottle.

More information at Guinness’ official Facebook page.

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This post fuels Mothership.sg so we do not need to raid the Iron Bank of Braavos, which is well beyond our capabilities.

Related article: 11 reasons why Game Of Thrones’ Tywin Lannister was inspired by LKY

- He Ruiming